Unfortunately, I know what it's like to be born again and baptized in the Holy Spirit, yet living in the blackest darkness imaginable. I know what it is to be so tormented that death seemed the only escape.

I also know what it is like to take the weapon God has given each one of us and fight my way through to freedom. And I know if I can do it...you can do it too.

As I said before, there are two reasons I can be sure of that. One, because the Word says so. And two, because at a time when doctors, psychiatrists, and medicines could not help me—the Word of God saved my life.

My Battle With Depression
I was a new Christian when it happened. I'd only been born again and baptized in the Holy Spirit a few months. I had so little knowledge of the Bible that I asked Jesus to come into my heart every day for the first three months I was saved. I just didn't know any better!

All my life I'd been a happy, outgoing person. Add to that the delight of discovering Jesus and you can imagine how full of joy I was.

Then, suddenly, all that changed.

Overnight the devil came into my life like a flood. Darkness closed in around my mind. Depression set in that was so deep and terrifying, it often left me in a trance. Bleeding ulcers racked my body and reduced me to little more than skin and bones.

Physically, I was so weak that I couldn't be left alone. I remember once when simply walking down the hall to my baby daughter's bedroom in answer to her cry so drained me of strength that I fell repeatedly. Once I reached her bed, I collapsed upon it unable to move without help.

Like cancer of the mind, mental illness began to eat away at my sanity. Thoughts of suicide and screaming demonic voices hounded me day and night. At times, my central nervous system broke down under the pressure of it.

When that happened, it was as if all of my inward parts were shattering and all I wanted to do was die.

The doctors diagnosed me as "manic depressive," moving over into schizophrenia and hallucinations at times. My once boisterous, outgoing personality had vanished, leaving me timid and shy.

Confusion so clouded my mind that, at times, I would answer the phone, then forget I was having a conversation and simply lay the receiver down and walk away.

There were no pills that would help. Nothing anyone could do.

Thank God, my clinical psychologist was a spirit-filled Christian. And he told me the truth. "Jesus is your only answer."

Supernatural Shock Treatment
Although I didn't know much about spiritual things back then, I did know one thing. The way to get to Jesus was through the Word of God.

So I started reading the Word. I followed the instructions in James 1:21 which says, "Get rid of all uncleanness and the rampant outgrowth of wickedness, and in a humble (gentle, modest) spirit receive and welcome the Word which implanted and rooted [in your hearts] contains the power to save your souls."

That's what I needed—power to save my soul. Because I was born again, my spirit was already saved. But my soul (my mind, will, and emotions) was desperately ill and I needed to be delivered.

One thing you need to understand is this. When I say I started reading the Word, I don't mean I had a 15-minute daily devotional time. I spent every possible moment reading and quoting the Word. Sometimes I would read it all night because I couldn't sleep.

Other times, when the ulcers in my stomach would cause me to vomit repeatedly, I would take my Bible with me into the bathroom. Then, in between bouts of sickness, I would speak the Word saying, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God" (Matt. 4:4).

Even that, however, was not enough.

You see, every thought I had all day long was evil. The Bible says, "...whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever thing are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things" (Phil. 4:8).

Yet none of my thoughts fell into any of those categories!

A Rubber Band-Aid
I knew somehow I had to change that. I knew I had to do something dramatic enough to jolt my mind out of those demonic thought patterns. So here's what I did. I put a rubber band around my wrist. (That's right, a rubber band! Not the big kind, either, but the thin kind that stings when it snaps against your skin.)

Then, every time a thought came to me that was not the Word of God, I'd pull that rubber band back and snap myself on the wrist.

When the devil would come to me and say, "You're going to commit suicide today"—which he did hundreds of times a day—I'd pop my wrist with that rubber band as hard as I could. Then I'd say, "No, in the name of Jesus Christ, I tread upon scorpions and serpents and I have power over all the enemy" (Luke 10:19).

After the first four or five hours of the day, my wrists would be raw and bleeding. But eventually, my mind would start turning away from those evil thoughts instead of entertaining them.

I'd refuse to have them because I remembered how bad that popping hurt and I didn't want to experience it again. I realize that may sound extreme to you. It was extreme. But I was facing an extremely critical situation.

Later, when I told my psychologist what I had done, he said, "You know what you were doing don't you? You were giving yourself shock treatment."

I had no idea at the time that's what I was doing. I only knew that it worked because after only one month of it, I began to have days when the darkness would clear away, days when all that depression, all those mountains of frustration, all the suicidal pressure would lift and I would be free.

Meditation x 3 = Victory!
But I want you to know, on those wonderful days, I didn't celebrate by going shopping or going to the movies. No, I'd spend those good days meditating the Word of God. I would arm myself with it so I'd be prepared for the next attack.

Since that time, I've discovered that although the Bible says a great deal about meditating on the Word, very few Christians actually know how to do that. So let me share with you the three ways that worked for me.

How to Meditate on the Word of God
1) When I would get up in the morning, I would read the Word - not large portions of it, but just short sections. I would pick out one particular word in that passage of scripture that seemed to speak especially to my heart.

For example, I might read Psalm 91:2, "I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust." Then I would take the word refuge, get out my concordance and cross-reference it, reading every scriptural reference to refuge throughout the Bible.

2) Next, I would think all day (and many times all night) about the fact that God is my refuge. I'd also meditate the Word by vividly imagining, and even acting out, individual Bible stories.

3) The third way I would meditate the Word was by taking a whole verse of scripture and carry it with me all day long. I don't mean I'd put a Bible in my purse and carry it with me. I mean, I'd put that scripture in my mind and heart and just think about it night and day, turning it over and over in my mind.

You didn't know meditating the Word was so much work, did you? Sure, it takes effort but it's the most richly rewarding effort you'll ever put forth. For me, it was worth every moment because after fewer than nine months of that kind of meditation I was totally free.

Just think, if I could be delivered from that kind of hopeless situation in just nine months, how long would it take you to get a breakthrough in your life? A few weeks? A day or two?

Would it be worth the effort? Yes, yes, yes!

Source: Dare To Be Free by Lynne Hammond
Excerpt permission granted by Mac Hammond Ministries