The doctrine of submission is one of the most abused doctrines in the Bible. Misguided men have used it as an excuse to oppress and mistreat their wives. They've even twisted it to lead their wives into sin.
I want to set the record straight.
I want to let both husbands and wives know that real, biblical submission is good news, not bad news. It's a principle which, if properly understood, will turn your marriage into the powerhouse God designed it to be.
In Ephesians 5, the Word of God paints a beautiful picture of a right relationship between man and woman. It is in this picture that the word "submission" appears:
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church....Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.It is a fact that your husband has ultimate responsibility for the success or failure of your family. The buck does stop with him. However, it is also a fact that you can enhance his chances of success many fold. You can make it a whole lot easier for him or you can make it a whole lot harder.
(Eph. 5:22-24)
With that in mind, let's go to Ephesians; "Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands as unto the Lord." Once again, we're back to that dirty word, "submit." Before you jump and run, let me tell you something about submission.
Submission is an attitude of heart that says, "Yes, I see that I need to receive godly direction through this authority God has set in place in my life."
Notice I said you needed to receive "godly" direction. How then should you respond to your husband if he isn't walking with God? How do you deal with ungodly leadership? First Peter, chapter 3 gives the answer:
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation [or manner of life] of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation [manner of life] coupled with fear [or reverence].Preach With Your Life—Not Your Lips
(1 Peter 3:1-2)
This is good news, dear lady. You don't have to say a word to that ungodly husband. In fact, the Bible is telling you not to. So how do you win him over?
Two ways. First, by your chaste manner of life. (Chaste means pure, separated unto God.) And second, by your reverence. Reverence of who? Of your husband.
The Amplified Bible makes that very clear. It says you are to conduct yourself with reverence "[for your husband. That is, you are to feel for him all that reverence includes]—to respect, defer to, revere him;...to honor, esteem (appreciate, prize), and [in the human sense] adore him;...to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love and enjoy [your husband]" (v. 2).
This is what God says you're to do. God doesn't call you to do something without equipping you. That means by the power of the Holy Spirit, you can do it. And when you do, it will change the direction of your husband's life.
Understand The Exception
It is important to remember, however, that submission to an ungodly man doesn't mean obedience. You are to receive whatever godly direction comes through him.
But if he says, "Woman, you submit. Skip church and go to the bar with me today," don't you do it. You obey God instead.
God says you're to live a chaste life, holy, pure and separated to Him. So, just gently, lovingly kiss your husband on the cheek and say, "I'm going to church, Honey. Bye."
Through it all, continue to do what the Word says. Be loving. Be kind to him. Encourage him. Adore him as your husband. Build him up and pray for him and he will change.
Eventually, the day will come when he wakes you up and says, "Hurry up and get dressed or we'll be late for church." Eventually, he'll be the one living the Word in front of you.
Miracles happen in marriage. Wives, they'll happen for you if you'll live a godly life and reverence your husband. Adapt your lives to the pattern you see in the Word of God and your marriage will be glorious.
It will turn your home into a spiritual powerhouse.
Excerpt permission granted by Mac Hammond Ministries
Mac Hammond is the senior pastor of Living Word, a large and growing church in Brooklyn Park (a suburb of Minneapolis), Minnesota. He is the host of the Winner’s Minute, which is seen locally in the Minneapolis area on KMSP Channel 9 at 6:44 a.m. and 11:11 a.m. He is also the host of the Winner's Way broadcast and author of several internationally distributed books. Mac is broadly acclaimed for his ability to apply the principles of the Bible to practical situations and the challenges of daily living.
