The devil whispers, "You've made such a mess of your marriage that there's no hope for it. You should start all over. You need a brand-new marriage and a brand-new partner."
Has the devil ever suggested this to you? Has this thought come to you as you've agonized over your problems? It may appear to be logical at first, but you must recognize that it is a lie of the devil.
I've had people say to me, "You just don't know the mess I'm in. If you knew all my problems you wouldn't say that I'd have to stay in my marriage." People get so hurt, so tormented that they don't see any possible way out. The only solution they can imagine is the last resort of divorce.
I feel such compassion for them—they're so broken in their hearts. And God loves those precious wives and husbands just as they are...just where they are. But they just don't understand that God wants to heal their present marriage and that divorce and a new marriage is not the answer.
God Wants the Best for You
We serve a loving God who knows and wants what is the best for His children. And if divorce was His best, if a new marriage was the best thing for His children, I believe with all my heart He not only would allow, but also would encourage divorce.
But He doesn't. So I have to believe that God knows more than we do, and He is not for divorce.
John 4 tells the story of Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman at the well. During His conversation with her, a woman He had never seen before, Jesus told her, "You've been married five times and the man you're living with is not your husband." That revelation helped the woman recognize that Jesus was a prophet.
One day as I was meditating on this scripture passage, the Lord impressed me that this woman's story proved that starting over again with a new marriage and a new partner wasn't the answer.
She apparently thought marriage was her problem because she'd tried five different times and still wasn't happy. Then the Lord spoke to me, "She needed an encounter with the Lord Jesus Christ—the Savior of her life. She needed an encounter with the One who would save her marriage."
You don't need another partner. You don't need another marriage. What you need is an encounter with the Lord Jesus Christ—the Savior and Healer of all marriages. Do you see that?
Marriage will continue to fail for you until you learn to overcome and make changes in your life. Marriage cannot succeed for you until you learn to obey the Word of God.
The Spirit of Divorce
Divorce is a spirit. Hear me, now. Divorce is a spiritual force of destruction, and that spirit will follow you around all of your life until you learn to take authority over it.
Statistics show that the divorce rate is much higher in second and third marriages. A fresh start with a new partner just isn't the answer. The problem is that you're under attack by spiritual forces—principalities and powers sent by the devil to destroy your marriage. You're involved in spiritual warfare.
So many times people have said to me, "Lisa, I thought this marriage would be different. I thought this mate would be better. I just knew this husband was going to be better than my last one. I was sure this marriage was going to be better. But it seems like we have more problems than ever."
God knows what is best for you. If you don't learn to overcome and drive out that spirit of divorce, it will follow you around all of your life.
I'm not trying to make you feel condemned if you are in your second or third marriage now. Just learn that you have missed it! God looks at you as a learner and not as a failure. You are responsible to obey the knowledge you have now. He's saying to you, "Now you know! Now you have the Word of God. Obey it. Make this marriage work."
One reason second and third marriages fail even more frequently than first marriages is that people take their hurts, problems, and faults with them when they re-marry. They get married again, thinking, "This marriage will get me out of my bad situation. This will rescue me out of my problems."
Too often they fail to realize that their new spouse has many problems and hurts, too. Many times he or she has been married before. So their new marriage starts off with lots of extra scars and wounds. The pressure keeps building up and eventually there is an explosion.
God know what is best for us. He wants us to be happy in our first marriage. A divorce is not the answer. Another marriage is not the answer. He wants you to be happy now.
Excerpt permission granted by Lakewood Church