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biblescriptureToday I was meditating on the Scripture in James 4: 2 that says, “...And yet the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it.”

I have suffered from headaches and migraines for over thirty years now. Through those years I have believed that God can heal me, and as the years passed, I stopped believing. Not that I don’t believe that God can heal others. I know He can and does. But the question is, will He heal me? Why hasn’t He healed me yet? What do I have to do to be healed?

Two years ago, I started my quest to discover all my triggers—everything and anything that triggers my body to react by having a headache, which most times turns into migraines. In fact, one of the books I’m writing right now will be called, “My Life as a Migraineur – My Life Living with Pain When No One Knew.” In this book, I share my stories throughout my life since I started suffering from headaches at age eighteen. The purpose of this book is to encourage others to discover their own triggers sooner than I did.

As of today, I have discovered 25 triggers that affect me. Many of those triggers such as being in a place that is too bright or too noisy, or not eating on time, not sleeping enough hours, and even my worst one—all preservatives, food additives, and artificial sweeteners, I have learned to control somewhat. However, there are other triggers like hormones and the barometric pressure changes in Minnesota that I absolutely cannot control.

After studying and researching all these triggers, I came to the realization that “It’s in my DNA,” like a mean doctor once told me (which is, by the way, what inspired me to write the book). There are no more triggers to discover. I have learn to accept that “it is what it is.” I refuse to go on preventative medications because they all have terrible side effects that, in my opinion, are worse than enduring the pain of a migraine.

Therefore, I only have one last thing to pursue in my quest for healing—believe in God’s healing again!

Even though I have asked God to heal me many times in the past thirty years, I have decided to renew my faith and to start the faith journey again in this area of my life. This is my prayer I wrote today in my personal journal that I will share with you so you can believe with me:

Lord, I have asked you to heal me and you haven’t. I’ve had faith and have lost it. Now I want to believe in your healing power again—your healing power to heal ME! Not just other people. I know you heal others, maybe not everyone who asks or who believes but those you choose to heal. How can I be one of those special people you choose to heal, Lord?

You say in James 4:2 “You do not have because you do not ask.” Well, I’m asking you again to heal me from headaches and migraines—forever. I want to share my testimony of healing with the world. I want to inspire people to believe again, to have faith in you again. I want to be a walking testimony of your love and healing power.

There is nothing else to discover, no more triggers to find out. It is in my DNA, like that mean doctor said. It is what it is. But you can change that reality, Lord. You are God. You created me. I’m not going to ask you anymore why you won’t heal me. I will simply believe. I choose to believe in your healing power.

For now, I will wait on you for the rest of my days until I receive my healing. I will not give up believing.

This is my prayer and I ask you that you believe with me. If there is something you are waiting on God to do for you, start by believing again.

Have faith. And then wait on the Lord. We will wait together.



Copyright © Marcia Malzahn
All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

Author Biography

Marcia Malzahn
Web site: Marcia Malzahn
 
Marcia is the author of her book Devotions for Working Women – A Daily Inspiration to Live a Successful and Balanced Life published in 2006. Marcia published her second book The Fire Within – Connect Your Gifts with Your Calling in October 2015. Marcia and her husband Tim live in Minnesota and have two children: Nicole and Patrick. Marcia enjoys spending time with her family, working out, singing, writing, and public speaking.
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