When I wear that makeup, the makeup people always tell me to pat my face rather than wiping at it if I get hot. I have to be real careful not to smear it. It's tough, and I'll tell you what - I could never be a woman. If I were a woman, I'd be the ugliest woman you ever saw. I don't see how ladies put this stuff on everyday. But let me give ladies a prophecy: Put it on! I tell my wife, "Don't leave home without it." I like it, but not on me.
You know, it's amazing to me that a little makeup can make that much of a difference. For example, when you take your wife out to dinner, she fixes herself up and looks really nice. She's got a beautiful dress on - bless God. That makeup is perfect. She's got those pouty lips, and you think, Hey, Mamma! You look good.
You take her out to dinner at some nice place. You know, it's the kind of place where they have those menus you can't understand. And the waiters talk to you in some foreign language.
And you say, "Yeah, whatever, brother."
They bring you stuff you haven't ever seen before. The plates have all the different forks and spoons lined up next to them. But you don't know what all that stuff is for. (It helps to take a look around to see which fork other people are using to know which fork you should use. The only problem is that the other people are waiting for you to pick up a fork first!)
Everything's really romantic. Your wife is sitting across from you, and she smells so good. You can smell her from across the table. She looks good too. You want to hurry up with that dinner because she looks so good. You eat dinner in a hurry and tell her, "Honey, do we have to go anywhere else?"
"No," she says, let's go home."
Oh, vroom, vroom, vroom! Let's go home. Hallelujah!
You get home and open up the door for her. She walks in and says, "Lock the door. Lock the windows, turn off the telephone and hang up the Do Not Disturb sign." And she goes upstairs to the bedroom.
Just about then your kids come over, saying, "Hey, Daddy."
"Go home. Go home."
"But we need to talk to you," they say.
"Not now. Tomorrow. Bye."
"Where's Mamma?" they want to know.
"You don't want to know. Go!"
See, you've got power on your mind. You're thinking, Yeah!
"But Daddy..." comes the voice of one of your kids.
"Go home. Get out of here! Git!"
Finally, you run the kids off. You're thinking, Boy, she had a beautiful dress on. She had on all that beautiful makeup, and she looked so gorgeous. You're thinking, Bless God, Jack! You start strutting yourself. So you go into that bedroom - but she's not in there. She's coming out of the bathroom, wearing this sack that you've been trying to throw away for at least fifty years, and all her makeup is off. She looks at you and says, "Hi."
"Turn off the light!" you say. "Just turn off the light. Why'd you take all that makeup off? What'd you do that for?"
"Well," she says, "I didn't want to smear it."
"We'll buy new sheets," you tell her. "We'll buy new pillows. Those things don't matter! Who cares?"
But women worry about these things. They pay attention to the little details, trying not to mess anything up. Men and women are different that way. But you don't want to magnify the differences; instead, you want to understand them. All the husband cares about is getting to the point. If a man loves his wife though, everything will be all right.
You see, the Bible says that we were created in God's image (Gen. 1:26). How many of you believe that you were created by God? If you believe that you were created by God, then you believe you were created in God's image. God said, Let us make man in our image. That tells us that God is not some gorilla hanging off a tree, eating a banana. That may sound simple, but some of the greatest intellectual minds of America believe it.
We look like God, and all of our ancestors did too! We were created in God's image and likeness. Now, we may have different personalities, but that's okay. God likes to have a little variety. That's why men and women are somewhat, but not altogether, different from each other.
In God, it's all right to have different ways of expression, because God made us that way. That's the reason why husbands and wives can match up so well - as long as they have godly love in their marriage.
God likes variety because He's a multi-faceted God. God made you in His likeness, but you have your own personality. Don't worry about covering up your apparent imperfections. Makeup may be nice on a face (hey, I like the stuff!), but you should never feel like you need to cover up the real you.
You may be able to enhance what God gave you - and that's great. But just make sure to be who you are. Never lose the real you. God created you that way, and He likes it.
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers