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As each one of us strives to follow God's plan for our lives, it's important to remember that He won't force us to do anything. Eventually, we must make the first move. But when we do, God will direct our steps, catch us when we fall, and lead our spirits in the right direction.


The blank screen.

It glares at me every time I start a new project. I stare back, willing the first sentence to magically appear.

After writing professionally for ten years, you’d think I would have solved the mystery of the blank page, but that’s far from the truth. I know how to avoid it—walk the dog, do the dishes, cook dinner—anything to keep me from facing that empty slate.
Writing is a discipline that takes hard work, creativity, and patience—but even more than that, it takes the help of the Holy Spirit. Without Him stirring ideas in me, leading my steps, and bringing me the right projects, I would be nothing—sort of like my blank page.

Some days I’m overly confident in the ability God has given me. I volunteer for projects, knowing that I’ve done it in the past and I can do it again. Within minutes (or sometimes hours) the blank screen eventually disappears and transforms into something I’m satisfied with.

Other days, I feel extremely inadequate. People ask me to write things that make me think, are you kidding me? I can’t do that! Sometimes I just stare at the blank screen and blinking cursor, hoping some revelation knowledge will suddenly materialize. It's hard to muster up anything on days like this. Eventually I utter the prayer: “Help me, Lord!”

For me, the swing of feelings associated with writing mimics my life.

Some days I am on top of a mountain declaring, I will live for God like no one else! Walk in love? Check. Believe for my healing? Check. Manage the details of life well? Check. Other days, I’m stuck in a hole, searching for my way out. Living for God just doesn’t seem possible when making it through the day is all I can handle.

Recently, Dr. Dennis Burke spoke at my church, and ministered something I rarely hear people talk about: falling. Dr. Burke explained how the trapeze artists at the circus prepare for their trade. The first thing they do as a young trapeze artist is fly from one stand towards the other—and let go halfway there. They fall again and again and again so they can become used to the feel of the net under them. They become confident in the fact that when they fall, they will be safe. Of course, the goal isn’t to fall. The goal is not to fall. But when they learn not to fear the fall, they will fall less.
He went on to say that everyone has moments when they don’t handle things the way God wants them to. Abraham, Moses, David…take your pick; they all messed up! But messing up didn’t stop them from living for God. No matter how unworthy they felt, they got back up again.

I let these words soak into me. Falling down as a Christian is normal—and safe. Your salvation isn’t in danger when you sin. When you wake up feeling less than Christian, your eternity in heaven isn’t jeopardized and God’s love for you hasn’t wavered. God’s grace sustains you through your feelings of inadequacy.

Just as I eventually type every blank page into oblivion, I walk out every day by the grace of God. As Micah 7:8 says,
"Rejoice not against me, O my enemy! When I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light to me.”

I look back on my writing career and I see a pattern. God led me to study writing in college. I did. He brought me a job that involved writing. I took it. After a while, I wanted to explore my writing further so God used my dad to encourage me to go to a writing conference. I signed up and went. While at the conference, God brought me a connection with a publishing company. I sent them my resume. They responded with job opportunities. I got to write, add to my resume, and earn some additional money on various projects.

God makes a move. I respond. God makes a move. I respond. It’s the ebb and flow of following God.

Now, I’ve never been a fan of chess because every time it’s my turn to move, I feel as though everyone is staring at me thinking, move that piece! Move this one! Don’t do that! Everyone knows the right move—except me. That’s why I’m grateful that in this chess game of life, God helps us decide how, when, and where to move. As Deuteronomy 30:19 says,
“I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life….”

It's as though the Holy Spirit is on my team. He's whispering in my ear telling me which piece to move, what direction to walk, what words to write next. Sometimes He sounds a lot like me as He quietly leads my spirit in the right direction; other times, He uses the Bible or the people around me. Whatever prompting I feel, it's up to me to make the move and follow His lead. As I move, God molds and shapes my efforts into something beyond me.
I guarantee that I've sent off some writing pieces to my editors that have needed a lot of work; by the time I see them again, they've been revamped so extensively it's easy to think my draft was a waste of time. But what I've come to learn is that you can never accomplish a well-written project without a messy first draft. Perfection isn't possible the first time you write—but the editing process is what makes you better.

The same goes for life. I will make mistakes, and I will fall down, but when I know that God is my safety net, I can get back up, learn from my mistakes, and keep going. As a favorite song of mine says: "Your heart will always be my home, no matter where I go, no matter what may come." These lyrics have become my life’s anthem. As I strive to follow God, I don’t need to be perfect overnight; I just do my best to invest in my relationship with Him, no matter how I’m feeling. When I step out to make my move, I know that God will do the rest.

"God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect."
(Psalm 18:32 NLT)

Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve found that God often uses other people to help me make my move. Sometimes it’s through daily interactions with others; other times, it’s through a daily devotional or audio message like what we have on cfaith. I know I’m not the only one who has been encouraged through the messages on cfaith, so I want to personally thank you for helping make this website possible. Your connection with us makes everybody’s “chess game” of life a bit easier.

I'm very grateful that God is working behind the scenes to direct our steps, even when we don’t realize it. We don’t need to be afraid when we fall or feel inadequate. We can rely on Him and His grace, knowing that He has caught us in His safety net. He will help us rise and continue to edit our lives into the written epistles He wants them to be.

Following God with you,

Laura Wegener

Author Biography

Laura Wegener
Web site: Laura Wegener
Beyond writing, Laura Wegener loves spending time with her family, reading, and helping out at church.

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