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Here are some basic principles that, when diligently applied, will show your husband that you love him and desire for him to be the best individual he can be.

Show Some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
Everything a man is and does is tied to respect. He needs you to respect him because his self-worth hangs on it. To disrespect a man goes right to the heart of his being and drastically changes him because it wounds him and zaps his energy and desire to do things right.

I'm not talking about a husband who is a lazy, selfish and self-centered person. I'm referring to a man who has done his best to provide for and protect his wife and family.

Although your husband will make mistakes along the way, that is no excuse for a condescending attitude or a complete disregard for his thoughts, feelings or opinions.

When you respect his God-given position as the leader of your family, you are respecting God's order of authority.

Here are a few tips that show your man respect:

1. Be his best friend.
If a man is feeling that "pressure," it's difficult for him to talk about it. When he does open up, be a non-judgmental listener while expressing love and concern for him.

Help him to see that God has always brought the two of you through hard times, and He won't stop now. Show him through the Word that he is God's son and God is with him.

Remind him that wisdom is the principle strength in his life; then pray together to receive the wisdom you need for the situation at hand.

Remember, you are his confidant. By confiding in you, he's putting his heart into your hands; therefore, treat it with honor and hold it carefully. He needs to know that you will not betray him by telling his business to an outsider such as a friend or other family member.

In addition, if your husband tells you that he needs something from you, respect what he tells you, whether you agree with him or not. Make the adjustments and do your best to meet that need.

2. Tell him he's significant.
A man needs to know that he matters and is very important to his family. If he thinks he is worthless, his significance as a man is depleted. He'll walk around feeling insecure, inferior and inadequate. You can change that by telling him how much you love him and need him in your life. You can also remind him that he matters greatly to you and your family.

3. Have a meek and quiet spirit.
First Peter 3:4 states that a meek and quiet spirit is of value to God. That doesn't mean you sit in a corner and never speak, but that you remain teachable, knowing when to allow your husband to take the lead!

Have you ever been in a place where the husband was asked a question but the wife answered it for him? That is embarrassing and detrimental to a marriage.

I don't allow it to happen in my presence. If I ask a man a question and the woman steps up to answer it, I wait until she's finished, then I look at the man and ask the question again.

If a woman is making all the decisions, then her husband cannot build his confidence and leadership in the Lord.

You may know more than your husband or have been a Christian longer; if that's the case, show your spiritual maturity and build your husband up. Give him the time to speak and let him lead.

Understand Him
Your man needs you to understand why he does what he does and feels the way he feels about things. Listen to him when he talks. Watch what he does.

Take notice of the ways in which he is trying to show you love. Try to understand what he deals with on a daily basis. Is there a quota he has to meet? Are there clients he has to impress? Is his boss demanding or unfair?

What is involved in the work he does? What are the challenges? Once you understand these things, you've gained insight into his world and he will want you to be a part of it.

So take the time to see what's happening in your husband's life. Only then can you develop the sensitivity that comes with understanding.

Care for His Castle
I'm sure you've heard the expression, "A man's home is his castle." This is actually a true statement. A man needs a clean and orderly home. Ladies, you are the ones with the "nesting" ability—the ability to create a warm, relaxing and nurturing environment—so make your nest beautiful.

If you have the luxury of not having to work outside the home, don't sit around eating candy and watching Oprah all day!

Clean the house and make it attractive! If both of you work, you can make a list to share the responsibilities. But if not, the job is yours.

A messy house clutters the mind. It can make a tired person even more so. The atmosphere you create in your home can soothe a person's mind, body and spirit.

Take pride in how clean and orderly your house is. As a woman, that is your domain. It shows what you value. Make your house an inviting place that your husband can't wait to return to.

Make Him Laugh
Never forget to laugh and have fun. There's a boy in every man and he still likes to have fun. Don't let financial circumstances, children or other issues wear you out. A great sense of humor often diffuses a stressful situation. Rather than allowing your situation to depress you, do something out of the ordinary instead.

For example, jump into a pile of autumn leaves, tickle each other, tell a joke or talk about funny things that have happened. You'll feel much better when you laugh every day. Your man needs that humor to add balance to his life. In addition, humor makes you appealing to your husband. He wants a partner he can laugh with.

Stay Attractive
Time takes its toll on everyone. When you are 50, you don't look like a 20 year-old anymore. It may take a little bit more work to get there, but the principles of staying attractive should never change.

A man needs his wife to look good. Remember how you were when he was dating you? You made sure every hair was in place. This behavior shouldn't change just because you're married to the man.

For example, if he saw you dressed in a nightshirt and curlers before he left for work, don't let him come home seeing you the same way. That's why some secretaries start looking good to their bosses—at least they put on make-up!

Take care of yourself, no matter what your age might be. If you have put on a few pounds because of your children or bad eating habits, lose them. If you need to cover your gray, do it. If make-up makes you look irresistible, wear it. Buy perfume or scented bath beads and perfume your skin.

A man is attracted to how good you smell, and your husband needs that stimulation. He needs you to look your best for him. He wants to be the envy of other men when he's walking down the street, holding your hand. Yes, he's already proud of you and loves you—but it doesn't hurt to give him an extra bonus and look good too!

It's hypocritical to try to be meek and godly outside of your home without first developing the same attitude in your home with your husband. You shouldn't try to help others without knowing what your own husband needs and doing your best to fulfill those needs.

God is looking for genuine people willing to work on the real issues of life. After Him, your first priority is your husband—not your job, children or even church commitments!

Source: The Successful Family by Dr. Creflo A. Dollar and Taffi L. Dollar
Excerpt permission granted by Creflo Dollar Ministries

Author Biography

Creflo A. Dollar
Web site: World Changers Ministries
 
Creflo Dollar is the founder and senior pastor of World Changers Church International (WCCI) in College Park, Georgia; World Changers Church-New York; and a host of fellowship churches throughout the United States and internationally. WCCI also has offices in Australia (serving the Asia-Pacific region), South Africa, Canada, the United Kingdom, India, and the Ukraine.
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