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Good communication involves talking, listening, understanding, and taking action.  The Greek word for communicate is koinonia, which also means "fellowship," and it deals with the relationships we have with each other.

Communication breakdown is the number one problem area in marriage.  It's the number one cause of separation and divorce.  A lot of people don't realize it, because they relate their problems to some other area. 

But if your communication is proper and you have an ability to share openly, you can solve financial problems, physical relationship problems, and children problems.

Pride and selfishness are two root causes of problems with communication.  If you'll work on those two areas, you'll solve the majority of the communication problems in your family.
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
(Eph. 4:29)
This means, let no bad words, no destructive words, no words that put people down or defeat God's purpose; let no words that would bring animosity or ill will or a bad reputation to someone; let none of those words come out of your mouth, but only that which is good to the use of building up. 

The key to effective communication is speaking words that build up.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
(Eph. 4:30)
This means it's possible to grieve the Holy Spirit of God by speaking words that do not edify. As I read through the four Gospels, I notice that Jesus always encouraged and lifted people above the situations and circumstances that came into their lives. That's the way it should be with us.
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
(Eph. 4:31)
Malice is the bad attitude of wanting to get back at someone, wanting to put them down.
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.
(Eph. 4:32)
One of the greatest keys to keeping communication lines open is keeping the forgiveness lines open. Whenever there's a stoppage in forgiveness between two people, then you can count on a breakdown in the communication lines.

But when there is forgiveness flowing both directions, the communication lines will remain open.

The Spirit of God spoke to Jeremiah, saying:
See, I have this day set you over the nations and over the kingdoms, to root out and to pull down, to destroy and to throw down, to build and to plant.
(Jer. 1:10)
We want to pull down strongholds and tear out things that are hinderances in our lives so we can build strong relationships in our homes and marriages by having a strong, effective communication system.

If you can get your communication right with God, you can have the right communication with the people around you. This includes your spouse, your children, and the people with whom you work.

If you talk to God, listen to Him, and seek to understand His ways, then you can have good communication with people.

Source: Building Stronger Marriages and Families
by Billy Joe Daugherty
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers

Author Biography

Billy Joe Daugherty
Web site: Victory Christian Center
Billy Joe Daugherty was founder and pastor of Victory Christian Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He was also the founder of Victory Christian School, Victory Bible Institute and Victory World Missions Training Center.

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