Marriages are like bank accounts. You can continue to make regular withdrawals only if you first make significant deposits.

A deposit is an action or word that shows how much value a husband or wife places on the relationship. A deposit could be anything from a tender word, a spontaneous touch, a fresh batch of favorite cookies, or performing a household chore.

A withdrawal is an expectation or requirement that draws out of the relationship to meet a personal need - such as being asked to watch the children so your wife can spend an evening with her friends, or to spend a weekend alone while your husband goes hunting.

Make Sure You Balance The 'Checkbook'
How do you protect your marriage from the emotional bankruptcy that can come from making more withdrawals than deposits? Find out what enriches your relationship in the eyes of your mate, and also find out what are the biggest draws out of that account. It may surprise you.

You'll discover that the greatest deposits are not purchased with money but with personal involvement in the needs, goals, and dreams of your mate. And you'll find out how much the differences in our personalities influence the value we place on each other's actions.

You may be buying flowers and paying someone to take care of the lawn thinking those are two big deposits into your marriage, when your wife longs to see you getting personally involved in her everyday world by painting a room or mowing the grass yourself.

Your homemade meals and baked desserts for your husband may be a labor of love. But even though your dad preferred homemade treats, you might discover that your husband prefers store-bought desserts. A bigger deposit might be to let him play golf on Saturday mornings.

Obviously, the big deposits your spouse will make into your life will often come at the cost of his or her own preferences and desires. Learn to recognize and appreciate the effort your mate is making to enrich the relationship. The need to draw upon the strengths and resources of your relationship will always exist.

So make sure your marriage account has received regular demonstrations of love, sensitivity and gratitude for one another. Then withdrawals can be made from the overflow of those deposits instead of being scraped out from the bottom of a barrel that has already run dry.

Dennis Burke Ministries All rights reserved.