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After God created Eve for Adam He gave a command: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen 2:24).

It is interesting that this command was given before there were any parents on the earth. God must have foreseen the problems some people would have leaving their parents when they were married.

And the opposite is true: sometimes the parents have just as much trouble letting go of their offspring.

A godly parent will, as a part of their parenting responsibilities, prepare their children for the various stages of adulthood and cut those proverbial apron strings at the right time.

But just as young birds don't like being pushed out of the nest even when they are ready to fly, some young resist leaving the parental family even when it is obviously time to do so.

In fact, I have known men and women who still have an unhealthy attachment to their parents when they themselves area ready to be grandparents.

Leaving your father and mother is more than physically moving out of their home. It is leaving the comfort zone of their nurture and protection. It is taking full control and full responsibility for your own decisions and the direction of your life.

Dad and Mom assume an advisory position rather than a direct one. Spiritually, you leave their household and establish your own which includes your wife and any family you have in the future.

Certainly you never stop loving, respecting and honoring your parents; however, they should no longer have the same position and priority in your life they once had.

God made it clear that in order to cleave one must first leave. If a man is continually running back to his parents instead of preferring his wife, he hasn't really left. If he is continually comparing his wife to his mother, he hasn't really left.

If he cannot make decisions with his mate unless he has parental approval, he hasn't left. If he runs to Mama every time he and his wife disagree, he hasn't really left.

The reverse problem, the wife continually running to her parents for support and comfort, is equally wrong. But, before you the entire blame on her, ask yourself if you have been the type of husband to whom she can safely entrust herself.

Women are very security minded. One reason women never really leave their parents is because they aren't secure in their husband's love. They need to feel protected by their husbands in all areas of life. If they don't get it from you, they will look elsewhere.

If Mama and Daddy have always been there for her, that is where she will run! If her parents have always had a listening ear, and you don't, guess who she will be talking to?

If you don't show her affection and they do, she will get it from them of somebody else! Make sure that you promote the kind of environment that allows your wife to be open and honest with you. Make it so she wants to be one flesh with you!

Source: Man Husband Father by Buddy Harrison.
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers

Author Biography

Buddy Harrison
Web site:
Buddy Harrison and his wife, Pat, were co-founders of Faith Christian Fellowship International Church. He served as president of the organization from 1978 until he went home to be with the Lord on November 28, 1998.

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