Instruction must accompany any form of discipline or punishment inflicted on a child, but it should be in line with, and in light of, the Word of God. Read it to them, or allow them to read it out loud in your presence.

Let them ask questions, and be sure they understand the long-term consequences of sin, not only that it is wrong. With pornography, for example, they must realize it will always bring harm. It isn't something they are simply too young to see.

In Proverbs 31, Solomon recounts the prophecy his mother Bathsheba taught him concerning women and sexual things. When he says, "my son," he is talking to the person who is building the family name.

The king was saying more here than meets the eye. He was saying, "Son, you are the builder of the family name. Keep it built right when it comes to relationship. Watch where you spend your strength (referring to sexual strength). Beware of the pitfalls of drinking—how it affects your judgment." He continues by describing a virtuous woman and the importance she has in a man's life.

King Solomon was using the opportunity to instruct his son on much more than sexual matters. He wisely used the opportunity to instruct him on life-changing issues. You see, instruction cannot be accomplished by a spanking alone!

However, if instruction were the only way to make disciples of our children, the only way to train them up in the way they should go, the many verses regarding spanking would not be in the Bible at all. Let's briefly look to the Word regarding the discipline of children:
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
(Prov. 29:15)
Notice we are to use both the rod and reproof. We cannot discipline a child effectively when we only use one method, either what the Bible calls the rod, or spanking, or just reproof. It takes both.

The words a child left mean, "left to their sin nature." Shame comes to the child's mother when a child is left to live by their own set of rules.

Children are not born with an implanted set of rules. They will either develop their own, or you can teach them yours. A child may shame their mother but, as the father, you will be held accountable too.

Source: Man Husband Father by Buddy Harrison.
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers