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Many men fail to realize that a woman's makeup is primarily emotional. She craves loving attention.

You see, the foundation of all emotional observation is conversation. This is one of the major components of a successful marriage.

Every woman has the need for verbal stimulation. After all, let's face it, men—discourse can sometimes lead to intercourse.

Furthermore, innumerable married women are starved emotionally, solely because their husbands will not converse with them. A lack of effective communication can, and will, impair sexual relations. But beyond that, a lack of emotional satisfaction can truly damage a marriage.

I would go one step further and say that a communication void can lead to what I call an "emotional affair." If a woman is not fed the verbal food necessary to sustain a vibrant, fulfilling and loving relationship with her husband, she will intuitively look for it in places that are far inferior to what rightfully belongs to her.

Some women have poured an immense portion of their emotions upon their children, only to find that their children have nothing to give them in that department. Actually, the children are looking for emotional stability from their mother, but she is empty—void of the strength she should have to pour into her children.

This happens in a home particularly when the parents argue in front of the children or get a divorce. Because of the void that mom, and sometimes dad, are experiencing, they pour their pain into the child.

Countless situations have resulted in emotional abuse. If we knew the statistics of how many children have been emotionally violated by one of their parents, it would stagger our minds.

God holds men responsible for what happens within the confines of their homes. Be it positive or negative, they are the ones responsible. Let's not emulate Adam in this situation, like when he faulted Eve for tempting him with the forbidden fruit.

No, Adam was right there and partook as well. He was not deceived. Adam knew exactly what he was doing (1 Tim. 2:14).

It is our responsibility, men, to verbally strengthen our wives. Remember: don't talk at her, but candidly converse with her. There is a vast difference between talking at your wife and communicating with her. This is one of the basic fundamentals of a working relationship.

In addition to meeting your wife's need for communication, her emotional needs also include:
  1. Ministering to her with the inflection and tone of your voice
  2. Speaking the right words to her at the right time
  3. Expressing emotion and compassion to her
  4. Using physical touch at the appropriate times
Someone is thinking, that's work. You are 100 percent correct. Some men have become so familiar with their spouses that they've begun to take them for granted. They forget that their wives need a deep emotional connection.

This is dangerous to a marriage. If you don't minister to your wife's needs, she will probably not minister to your needs. Both parties will be ultimately unsatisfied.

What's Wrong, Honey?
Have you ever looked at your wife and noticed that she was crying? You immediately ask her what's wrong. She responds, "I DON'T KNOW!" Have I got a couple of verses for you!
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.
(1 Peter 3:7 NLT)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
(Eph. 5:25-33 NIV)
Those verses sum it up. If a man would do this—and I mean really do this—his wife would eventually respond to the method of love he is demonstrating.

Some men have been so harsh, hard and indifferent toward their wives that they have killed their wives' ability to respond to them in a favorable manner. Various men are too harsh with their wives, and then wonder, "Why won't she respond to me in a positive way?"

She is tense; she tightens up, and most men don't have a clue. I am convinced that some of these guys are from the land of DUH! This happens to many women who desire to have a positive relationship with their husbands.

It is a part of her nature to respond to her husband in an emotional capacity. It is just the way she is wired.

If husbands would simply take the Word to heart and make the necessary adjustments to cater to their wives' needs, their marriages could be forever changed for the best.

As is usually the case, when you place the supernatural with the natural, you've got a combination that cannot be beaten. Our marriages could and should be "naturally supernatural."

Trust me, men—take these words to heart. Your wife will love you for it, and your marriage will be all that God intended it to be.

Copyright © Anthony N. Wade Ministries
All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Author Biography

Anthony N. Wade
Web site:
Anthony N. Wade gave his life to The Lord Jesus Christ in 1973 and along with his wife, has been serving in ministry for decades.

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