I am a firm believer in the scriptural admonition that "the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32).

Men, the first truth I want to talk about here is found in Ephesians 5:25:
Husbands, love your wives, even as…
That term, "even as," is a prelude showing you how to do it. If you do not know how to love your wife, the Apostle Paul is getting ready to show you how. He is getting ready to give you an object lesson, one that you have to be deaf, dumb, blind, or dishonest not to see. He said:
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
(v. 25)
So we see that the relationship of Jesus to the Church is the example for the relationship of the husband to the wife.

If we want to learn how to treat our wives, all we have to do is examine how Jesus treats the Church.

There are Christian men, men filled with the Spirit, who do not know how to treat their wives. They are not treating their wives in a way or a manner that reflects love. They are surely not treating their wives as Christ treats the Church.

Love Means Giving
Notice that Paul said, "even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it."

So love is giving of oneself to another. And in this context, it is the husband giving himself for his wife. That means to his wife and for his wife, because that is exactly what Jesus did. If you do give, obviously there will be some times of receiving. But your giving should not be based upon receiving.

Giving should be a motive of the heart.

I am well persuaded that there are many Christian men who do not love their wives, because if they did, they would not treat them the way they do.

The Word says faith without works is dead (James 2:20), and I have news for you: Love without works also is dead and meaningless. Works means "actions."

I say many men do not love their wives, because the way they treat them is certainly not the way Christ treats us.

Love Means Telling The Truth
Would Christ tell us the truth or lie to us? Then you ought to tell your wife the truth. Instead of looking at other women, tell your wife when she lets herself get out of shape. Have the decency and honesty to tell her. Then be an example yourself of what you expect from her.

You cannot expect her to stay looking good if you are fat, sloppy, and out of shape. After all, when she married you, she did not marry the great beluga whale. It takes work and is a lifelong job, but it is worth it for your health as well as for your marriage.

Some of you do not like the way your wife dresses. Go and buy her the kind of clothes you do like. I want my wife to look the best, and I know what looks best on her better than anybody else.

Take the time and go shopping with her even if your feet do hurt. You find some sales people who will tell you the truth, but most of them will say anything to make a sale.

Go with your wife and tell her what looks good. Sure it costs time. But it will cost you more if you do not go with her, because she has spent your money, and you may not like the dress. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I go with Betty to choose her clothes.

I know what looks best on her. I want her to look good.

Of course, you need to use good sense. Don't go out and get yourself in debt buying clothes. But do remember these three scriptural truths when regarding your treatment of your wife:
  1. You are to fervently love her as Christ loved the Church.
  2. You are to be a giver unto her.
  3. You are to always be honest with her.
If you've already been doing these things, then you have nothing to worry about—you probably have a strong, healthy marriage.

If you are not treating your wife in the biblical manner prescribed by Paul, start doing it today, and watch your marriage grow!

Source: The Spirit-Filled Father's Guide To Total Victory
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers