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This decade is plagued with the notion that everybody is fooling around before marriage. The way that movies and TV programs depict sex outside of marriage, you feel like you are not normal if you wait.

Hollywood glamorizes immorality, making it seem like anyone who wants to have any kind of real life has to fool around before he gets married. They only show the "exciting" or passionate side of sex without showing the truth of what happens inside someone's heart when he gets involved sexually before marriage.

God is looking for fired-up people who love Him with all they've got and who will stand up for Him and live pure lives dedicated to Him. No longer should you ashamedly have to look down as if you are embarrassed for being a virgin.

There are a lot of great reasons to stay pure. Those who aren't virgins should be the ones who are ashamed, not you. They are the ones who have blown it, not you! Following are seven of the most obvious reasons:

Reason #1: You Could Be Dating Your Pastor's Wife
As young people begin to date, no one seems to take it seriously. They do not think about who the person they are dating might marry someday. I know a pastor who has his wife's high school boyfriend in his congregation.

Sometimes he says from the pulpit, "Someone here used to date my wife!" That might sound kind of wild, but it is true. The person you date will be someone's wife or husband someday. Treat him or her like you want your future spouse to be treated.

The Bible says in 1 Timothy 5:2 that we should treat the younger women in the church (your youth group) as sisters with absolute purity. How would you treat your sister? It is pretty sick to think about anything but a pure relationship with your own sister.

Reason #2: Date 'em and Hate 'em
Most young adults do not know how to have a real friendship with someone of the opposite sex. When we have a close friend we usually say, "I know him too well to date him."

Studies show that one of the primary reasons that teens date is to fulfill their desire for companionship. They are looking for good friends who care about them. They are fooled into thinking that "the father I go with this person, the better friends we will be."

Just the opposite is true. After a few dates, kissing substitutes for real communication. Before long, more sexual involvement follows with the hope that it will make you closer. The closeness you really want is impossible to find if you get involved sexually.

Sex will enhance the closeness a couple has only after they are married. If you do not have a heart-to-heart friendship with a person, having sex with him will not give it to you. Getting physical at all before marriage will only destroy your relationship.

Reason #3: Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Many young people think that if they could finally experience sexual intimacy, then they would find real love. In a desperate hope for someone who really cares, many have compromised their virtue.

As a result, emptiness and depression begin to hound the love-starved teen. The love and acceptance that you desire cannot be found in a passionate moment of immorality. True love respects a person's purity. Someone may ask, "If it's really love, is it okay?" If it was real love, he would not even ask you.

Reason #4: Can't Look 'em in the Eye
The big question young ladies ask themselves when they are about to lose their purity is, "Will he respect me in the morning?" The answer is always No! And worse still, you won't respect yourself either.

Sex in the context of marriage is pure and holy and there is nothing to be ashamed of. After giving away the precious gift of your purity in an immoral situation there is only one way you can feel; ashamed. Many people feel ugly or dirty or like a dark cloud follows them around wherever they go. So what if you have hormones, so do dogs! A real man will control himself and treat a young lady with respect.

Many people begin to see their entire walk with God erode because they are so ashamed of their sexual activities. It is amazing to think that a quick minute of passion could make someone turn his back on God and miss heaven. I hope you do not take the chance.

Reason #5: It's a Matter of Life and Death
We all know about sexually transmitted diseases but we think it could never happen to us. STDs are much more rampant than we like to think - the statistics sound pretty scary and maybe even hopeless, but it will never happen to you if you follow God's plan and wait until marriage.

Reason #6: Worth the Wait
God designed sex to be experienced only in the context of marriage. He knew it would take the love that only a lifelong commitment can bring to get the most satisfaction.

Sex was God's idea! He invented it. He knows how it will be the best! Imagine God and Jesus thinking of how to make humans reproduce. God wants you to have an awesome sex life, and the best way is to be with only one person your whole life.

That's it. No regrets, no shame, only pure sexual intimacy the way it was designed to be experienced: in marriage! The world has already blown it, so, of course, they are going to tell you to go for it before marriage. How would they know how great it could be getting married as a virgin?

Reason #7: God Said So
We have established a lot of common sense reasons not to fool around before marriage. But just in case common sense does not make sense to you, here is the best reason: God says so!

First Corinthians 6:19 says that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. You have God living in you (assuming that you have given your life to Jesus). You cannot take God's vessel (You) and get it involved in sin. First Corinthians 6:18 says to flee from sexual immorality. First Peter 2:11 says to abstain from sinful desires.

If none of these other reasons have convinced you, do it because God says to. Even if you don't understand why, just obey anyway. One day you will be walking down the aisle of a church to get married. When you stand there looking your bride or groom in the eyes with no shame, you will be glad you did things God's way.

What If You Have Already Blown it?
Good news for you. Jesus still forgives! His love will wash away your past as if it had never happened. He will forget it and He will help you to forget it, too. You must ask Him to forgive you, and then you must repent. Put your foot down and say, "No more!"

Some people think, well, since I have already blown it, it doesn't matter if I keep messing up. Wrong! The more you fool around, the more it will mess up your head, your heart, and your marriage! It is time to stop now. It is time to start over again. It is time to begin your second virginity.

That's right, I said - second virginity! Now that you know about living pure, you can stay pure from this time forward. You need to put some time between the present and the last time you messed up. The longer you stay clean, the more pure and holy you will feel! The most important thing about being pure is your heart.

Source: Quit Playing With Fire by Ron Luce.
Excerpt permission granted by Teen Mania

Author Biography

Ron Luce
Web site: Ron Luce
 
Ron Luce was the co-founder's and president of Teen Mania Ministries from 1986-2015. Ron and his wife Katie dreamed to raise up young people who would change the world.
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