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Most parents won't actually say that, but many times it is the subliminal goal in their heart. Why do we typically get frustrated with our kids?

Because they made a mistake or failed to do what was asked of them. Or we could say, they failed to be perfect. You know what I'm talking about. They have repeated the same household chore three times already and it is still not correct.

They forget to bring home their book so they can study for the exam tomorrow. Or they regress and fail to do the simple things we thought they had accomplished years ago. You bet it is frustrating, but training is part of our job.

It's our God given privilege and responsibility. A message to all of us who are parents, myself included, is, "If our kids were perfect they would have no need of us."

The word "train" implies repetition. If I were going to train you to drive a tank I wouldn't take you out, show you what to do one time and then say, "There you go, see you later!"

We are going to go over the same routine again and again.

Setting An Image
If we're honest, many times the reason we are frustrated with our kids is not because we care so much about them being perfect, but it is us wanting to set an image to others that we are perfect parents.

One of my daughters recently came down stairs to leave for church when I noticed a large stain on her shirt. When I recommended she change the shirt, she didn't want to. This was the shirt she wanted to wear.

I started to force the issue and set off a family squabble, but then I had a check on the inside. "Why does it bother you that she wants to wear the stained shirt to church? Was it for her self image or yours?"

Wow, great question Holy Spirit! I honestly was not concerned that other teenagers were going to make fun of her. The real reason I started to "lay down the law" was my concern of what my peers might say.

"Did you see Dean's daughter today with that stain on her shirt? I can't believe he would let her wear a dirty shirt to church."

Uh oh, the world might find out that I'm not a perfect parent and my kids aren't perfect, either! Needless to say, she went to church with the dirty shirt and the world did not fall apart.

If each one of us will remember that we are not perfect, nor are our children, I think we will get along much better.

Copyright © Dean Hawk Ministries
All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Author Biography

Dean Hawk
Web site: The Rock Family Church
Dean is the founding pastor of Rock. He has been married to his wife, Kim, since 1983 and they have three adult children; Alesha, Allyson and Preston. Since 1981 Dean has served in the full time ministry. Prior to starting the church in 2004 he served as a Youth and Associate Pastor in three different churches. Along with his current pastoral duties Dean is also an adjunct professor at Charis Bible College in Woodland Park.

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