I'm currently very upset with a Christian friend. I've heard things that she said about me behind my back. I haven't spoken to her in months because of this issue. What does the Bible teach me to do?


Jesus addressed this issue for us. Let's take a look.

If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
(Matt. 18:15-17 NIV)

The first and foremost step that you must take is found in verse fifteen. You must go to your friend, in a loving way, and tell her what you've heard that she supposedly said about you.

This must be done privately. Most people will repent when they are confronted in love. I've noticed that people say many things under pressure, or due to wrong perceptions of others.

This is not a legitimate excuse for speaking evil about another, yet we must realize that people are imperfect. If this first step doesn't work, the last two steps should be followed.

If your friend repents, then you must forgive her and treat her like she never did you any wrong (Luke 17:3-4). Regardless of the outcome, you need to forgive your friend for your own spiritual well being (Matt. 6:14-15).

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