Article Display
Email  |  My Account  |  Donate
What do you see when you picture the word conflict? A boxing match? A time bomb ready to explode?

Religious tradition has taught us that conflict is a dirty word and that couples who get into conflict must not be "spiritual enough."

This is NOT true! Conflict is a normal part of any marriage-the inevitable result of two different personalities put together.

To Fight Or Not to Fight
People respond to conflict in one of two ways:
  1. Fight
  2. Take flight (or avoid conflict)
Many Christian couples avoid conflict, because they think that all conflict leads to strife. NO! Avoiding conflict will lead to strife. You can only avoid conflict for so long until you eventually one day explode!

Fighting Right
So, how can you "fight right" in your marriage?
  1. Discover your "fighting style."
    When you fight, do you usually cry, yell, slam doors, give the silent treatment, get revenge, change the subject, etc...?
  2. Attack the problem, NOT the person.
    Distinguish between your spouse and the problem he/she is causing. Your spouse is not the problem; what he/she is doing is the problem.For example, if my husband is leaving messes around the house, the messes are the problem, not him.

    By attacking each other, neither of you will win. By attacking the problem as a team, both of you will win! Don't compete - collaborate!
  3. Decide together how you can solve the problem.
  4. Avoid these destructive behaviors:
    • Accusing
    • Getting defensive
    • Attacking/calling names
    • Passive-aggressive
    • Silent treatment
    • Physical violence
    • Saying "always" and "never"
Remember that conflict is not bad - unresolved conflict is!

Copyright © CFAITH All rights reserved.

Author Biography

Danny Gutierrez
Web site: Danny Gutiererrez
The Gutierrez family has served together in Peru since 2011. Danny and Stephanie serve on the pastoral staff and executive team of Camino de Vida, a growing church with 5 campuses located in the capital city of Lima.

About Us

The online ministry of cfaith has been helping people discover faith, friends and freedom in the Word since 2000. Cfaith provides a unique and comprehensive collection of faith-building resources for the worldwide faith community.

At cfaith, you can strengthen your faith and deepen your understanding of the Word of God by digging into the vast collection of teaching articles, streaming audio and video messages, and daily devotionals. No other website offers such a unique and extensive collection of spiritual-growth resources aimed at helping you grow in your knowledge of the Word.




Support Us

Why support cfaith?

(All contributions are 100% tax deductible)


For every Internet search you make using
goodsearch, cfaith will receive one penny!

GS Logo 250x38

Contact Us

Business Hours:

Monday—Friday: 9 a.m.—5 p.m. CST
Saturday & Sunday: Closed


(763) 488-7800 or (800) 748-8107

Mailing Address:
9201 75th Avenue North
Brooklyn Park, MN 55428


Login Form

Please ignore the “Secret Key” field; it is not needed to log in to cfaith.

Login Change Article

You need to enable user registration from User Manager/Options in the backend of Joomla before this module will activate.