A man can remember the statistics of every quarterback in the NFL, but will forget important dates with his wife.
My wife helps me open up when she says, "Let's share" or "Let's get close."
I'll say, "I don't know what to say. Help me."
My wife will say, "Here's what I've been thinking. How do you feel about that?" She helps me. It is not always easy, but who said successfully fulfilling God's will would be easy?
Jesus said,
Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.Intimacy and passion are required in your relationship with your spouse. The quality and depth of your sexual union will be evident in your emotional relationship.
(Matt. 7:13-14)
The Scripture says, "He knew her." Your relationship with your partner in life started mentally and emotionally and became physical.
Some people avoid relationships because they can bring the greatest pain; but they also produce the greatest reward. It's sad to be 95 years old and stuck in a retirement home where no one visits you.
When you are 105, you should have so much going on that you have to tell people, "I need to spend more time with God."
Lack of intimacy causes anxiety, loneliness, and emptiness. The only cure is to break through the shell and overcome those things that have closed you up, and then get close to people.
Jesus says in John 8:31-32, "...If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make your free."
The literal Greek says, "You will know the truth," and truth is defined in the Greek dictionary as "...not concealing...." When nothing is concealed, you will be free. Jesus is dealing with the Word in the disciples. Let's apply it to our lives.
I know the truth because I am in relationship, I am open for counsel, and I receive wise judgment. I know the truth because I haven't concealed my life. I don't have secrets; my life is an open book. The truth will make me free.
Be honest with yourself. The reason we avoid relationships is not that we are shy. It is usually that there is something we do not want people to know about us.
What if I were the pastor at Christian Faith Center for 20 years and had never revealed that I had been in a drug rehabilitation program and had been in jail? "Oops, I just forgot to mention it."
One day the local paper has a headline that reads, "Casey Treat, pastor of Christian Faith Center, was once involved in drugs and jailed." That would be hot news. The congregation would be very upset.
"I can't believe it. I've been attending this church for years, and he never revealed that he once used drugs?" It would be news because I hid it.
Anything that is hidden is powerful, but there is no power to what is uncovered. Bondage comes from lying and hiding. Freedom comes from truth and openness. Openness and honesty allow us to be free and deal with the problems of life.
No one is born with the ability to be intimate, open, and honest. You have to fight your feelings and all that is normal in the world. You have to swim upstream. Any old dead fish can float downstream. You have to swim upstream. That takes effort.
By opening up with one another, intimacy begins to take place, which results in inner healing.
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers