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You don't find a great marriage, you build one. Jesus didn't find church, He built one.
I will build my church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
(Matt. 16:18)
As we build a marriage, why not build a great one? Let me put it this way — would you like a good job or a great job? Would you like to have a good day or a great day? Would you like to have  a good life or a great life?

"Great" makes a big difference.

How do you build a great marriage?
By using the tools from the Word of God.

What It Takes To Make It
Many marriages end up maintenance relationships. The only time you work on anything is when it gets broke or busted.

After marriage, life gets busy and we can feel like we don’t have time to be romantic. When we're dating. There's no pressure. What do you want on your pizza? What movie do you want to see? That’s the most important thing you talk about.

Once we're married, the conversation level goes deep in a hurry. There are other things to do. We've got to pay bills, fix cars, get braces on children's teeth—the schedule fills up pretty fast.

Some people seem to make it, though. Some people make it year after year after year, decade after decade just as happy, just as much in love. It's not that they don’t have challenges or problems but they're just as much in love as ever, so they're doing something right.

"Doing something," is the key phrase. You can't just leave it to the natural course of life — you have to do something on purpose to build your marriage.

Anything left alone is going to deteriorate, including a relationship. The second law of thermo dynamics teaches us that in college.  Anything left alone is going to go backwards; yet some people manage to maintain and even increase their love for one another, their passion, their joy.

They’re just thrilled to be with each other. They learn how to do things together and, so we are going to talk about just the practical ways you can build that type of foundation.

The difference is when people put the Word of God to action in their life, especially where LOVE is concerned.

I'm Just Not Feeling It
The Natural:
Humans have a natural tendency according to 2 Timothy 3 to be:
  • lovers of themselves—thinking only of themselves and not others. 
  • They are lovers of money — meaning that they've got to have it and can't be anything without it, boastful, proud and abusive.
  • They are ungrateful, without love, unforgiving, slanderous and brutal. It's like they have an attitude of "I'm not going to forgive you for that..." and hold on to things with a stubbornness.
  • They are lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God — having a form of godliness, but denying it's power.
That is essentially a picture of what our flesh will do in it's "natural" state without the redemptive power of Jesus Christ in our lives.

If we don't get Jesus in the middle of our marriage that flesh with those capabilities is going to pop up. That can get real ugly, real quick.

But when we get God involved in our marriage and realize that we have been redeemed from the curse and we can walk in love, that can change everything.

The Supernatural:
This is what it says over in 1 Corinthians 13: “The love of God is shed upon your heart by the Holy Ghost.”

If you are saved, the love of God is in you, whether you feel it or not. We are not talking about a goose bump. We are not talking about an emotion. We’re talking about the real deal; the actual love of God lives within you.

That’s what Paul told Timothy when he was struggling with walking in love. He said, “The love of God is in you. It was given to you the day you got saved; you need to stir it up.”

Whatever God has given us, we have to stir up within ourselves. We can’t wait until we feel it. We got start acting by faith.

What Love Looks Like
If you are married this is how to maintain a great relationship.
  • Love is patient. It’s not, “Come on. We are going to be late again; hurry up." It doesn't go out sit in the car, honk the horn. It's doesn't complain, "Come on we’re always late," or " Get that thing done," or "Shut that thing up.” Nobody wants to be patient, but did you know that is also a fruit of the Spirit, meaning we have the ability in us.
  • Love is kind. Sometimes I have seen couples treat strangers better than they treat each other. They'll treat total strangers with more honor, more respect and more compassion than they give their own spouse. That isn't right; your spouse is a gift from God and the most special person on this earth.
  • Love is not envious. It doesn’t matter if somebody else is having a good day as long as their own day (career, etc.) is going well. No, you're not envious. You’re thankful. You’re thrilled for them. You rejoice with those that rejoice,
  • Love is not boastful, which means you have that in you — it's been shed abroad in your heart.
We all have flesh and every day we have to choose to be obedient to the Word and to walk out what we've been called to. We have the love of God in us and even when it's a struggle the Word says that God will give us both the desire and the power to do His will. (Phil. 2:13)

God has taken two people and he’s going to make them one. There are some changes that have got to take place that only God can make happen.
  • Love is not easily angered, it doesn’t keep record of wrongs done. That means that we're not to keep a diary or a ledger every time my spouse something stupid. We don’t keep records. Love doesn’t. Sometimes people do, but love doesn’t.
  • Love never delights in evil and it always protects. When you love somebody, you protect them. Love trusts, hopes, preserves and love,finally, never fails. It never fails. There are no perfect people or perfect marriages, but when we put God's Word first in our lives we can have a great marriage!
If you want to build a great marriage you’re going to have to practice some things that are different than your human nature. We have to start living in the fullness of what God has called us to as we walk in love with each other.

It's never too late. God loves you and your spouse and has a great plan for your family!

This week we've talked about the foundation of the Word and next week we'll talk about practical tips in building a strong relationship with your spouse.

Copyright © Joe McGee Ministries
All rights reserved.

Author Biography

Joe McGee
Web site: Joe McGee Ministries
Joe McGee, author, national conference speaker, father, and former school administrator, is the founder and director of Joe McGee Ministries, Inc. and Faith For Families Ministries.

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