For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart, bringeth forth good things and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.
(Matt. 12:34-35)

If we're going to work on our communication skills, the first thing we have to work on is our heart.

We've got to be filling our heart with good things if we want to get good out. The best thing we can put in it is the Word of God.

What the Word Says:

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
(Col. 3:16)

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.
(Phil. 4:8)

What's in our hearts will roll out of our mouths whether we want it to or not. That's why Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." If someone talks to us long enough, whatever we're worried or excited about will come out because what's in our heart comes out of our mouth. It's a law.

If we want to be good communicators, we have got to learn to guard our heart and only put good things in it. I can't be a great conversationalist unless I've been filling my heart with something worthwhile.

Conversation Rules from the Word
The Bible is a great reference book for improving conversation skills. I'm going to give you some rules for conversation skills that come right out of the Scriptures.

1) Speak Slowly
We have to learn how to speak slowly and softly. How are we going to win the world for Jesus when we don't know how to talk to people?

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.
(James 1:19 KJV)

We're supposed to be slow to speak. How do you react when somebody's talking ninety miles a minute and you can't get a word in edgewise? You probably don't like that very much.

2) Speak Softly
Loud people don't make you feel good. Did you ever have a kid come into your house and just yell, or have somebody greet you hollering? Your body releases those fight or flight hormones, and it just feels terrible. You want to say, "Calm down a little bit."

A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.
(Prov. 15:1 KJV)

If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.
(Prov. 27:14)

In romantic movies, have you ever heard the hero yell,"Hey, How are you doing ,sugar!?" That won't get you any kissing. A soft word works much better.

The woman Folly is loud, she is undisciplined and without knowledge.
(Prov. 9:13)

We want to be disciplined and knowledgeable, not loud and foolish. Loud people who run their mouths all the time won't make any friends.

3) Avoid Offensive Words
Have you every known a person who couldn't talk without starting a fight? That's what the Bible calls a fool. It is a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel" (Prov. 20:3). I've been a fool before, but thank God we can repent and learn to grow up!

If any man offend not in word, the same man is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.
(James 3:2 KJV)

That would be good if we could go through life without offending anybody with our mouths. Unfortunately, we're prone to sin, but thank God we can repent and apologize.

The best way to avoid offensive words is to think before we speak.

When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.
(Prov. 10:19)

The heart of the righteous studieth to answer, but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.
(Prov. 15:28)

When we put these biblical principles into action, we are going to see amazing results and we're going to be a blessing to those around us!