The wedding is over and the wedding party is gone. The wedding coordinator is no longer giving you directions and the last wedding related expense was just debited from your account. People have come and gone and all you have is your spouse. Calmness is being restored as you gradually settle into your new lifestyle as a married couple. You both look forward to a life full of excitement and a fulfilling marriage.

You gradually start packing for your honeymoon and you can’t wait to get to your destination. You navigate through security, board the airplane and take your seats. You fasten your seatbelt as you get comfortable and look forward to your honeymoon. The plane taxis down the runway getting ready to takeoff. The pilot increases the speed and you notice that the plane starts vibrating.

At this point, the seat belt sign is on and the pilot continues to increase speed to gain enough momentum to takeoff. The pilot looks beyond the initial vibration knowing that these vibrations are expected during takeoff. The plane finally gains enough momentum and the plane is airborne. As the plane continues to ascend, the vibrations initially experienced are more pronounced due to turbulence (a phenomenon that occurs when an aircraft collides with air pockets).

Once the plane reaches its predetermined altitude, the ascending stops, the plane maintains this altitude and usually the seatbelt sign is turned off. The vibration and turbulence reduces drastically and is occasionally felt throughout the flight. The vibration and turbulence then intensifies during the landing process as the airplane descends.

The turbulence and vibration experienced during a flight is relatable to marriage. Research shows that most plane crashes occur during takeoff or landing. This is when the turbulence is highest. It is when the plan feels the most pressure and strain on its engine. The chance of divorce is highest within the first 5 years of marriage; this is the take-off stage when the difference you didn’t see during your courtship is experienced the most. It is the adjustment phase, the phase in which most marriages feel strain and pressure.

The chance of divorce increases again between 20 years and 25 years of marriage which is when the children have left the house and it just you and your spouse at home. This can be related to the landing stage.

Newlyweds need to understand that the success of their marriage is dependent on how they can adjust to the vibrations, turbulence, differences, miscommunications, misunderstanding and conflict they are exposed to at the takeoff stage of their marriage (usually the first 5 years).

Just as the pilot anticipates vibrations when ascending and looks beyond this expected vibrations because he/she knows that once they reach a certain altitude the initial turbulence is reduced; it is imperative for newlyweds to understand the vibrations in the adjustment phase and know that it takes vision to get through that phase.

Understanding and communications are two vital ingredients newlyweds need at this stage. Notice that during the landing and takeoff of an airplane, pilots and air hostesses are in sync as communication between them increases. They both understand their roles and want the same outcome, which is having a successful flight. Zig Ziglar put it this way “Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood they are on the same side."

The Bible puts it this way:

If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.
(Gen. 10:6 -7)