3 Elements of Marriage

The emotional hype, coupled with the prestige, companionship, and sense of accomplishment that comes with being married is appealing. However, too many couples struggle with staying married. I sometimes struggle to reconcile the state of some marriages with the flamboyant wedding ceremony only a few years prior. The couples seemed happy and in love, only to start struggling a few months later. What happened? What changed? I've often thought to myself. Below are some elements of marriage that, if young couples explore, will help navigate the early years of marriage.

1. Marriage is a journey and not a destination
The first element was introduced when God established the marriage institution by expressing these words:

For this reason shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. (Gen. 2:24)

In other words, the goal of marriage is oneness and connotes marriage as the process of becoming one flesh. “And they shall be one flesh”, infers that the process of cleaving to your wife to become one flesh is the journey called marriage. However, it takes a life time unraveling, which is why couples don’t become one flesh overnight. Just like faith is a journey and not just an experience, marriage is a journey and not a destination. It takes time to understand each other, and it takes time to adjust to your new life as a couple. A major struggle for young couples is reconciling their expectation of marriage to the realities of it. Great marriages don’t happen overnight. It takes applying the fundamental marriage principles of God’s Word over time.

2. The Bible is the blueprint
I have yet to see any manufacturer make a product without the owner’s manual. Every authentic product has some type of manual or label that provides some basic instructions about the product. In the same way, the Bible provides the blueprint for building a successful marriage. The Bible has a lot to say about the principles that govern a successful marriage. For instance, trust, commitment, forgiveness, patience sacrifice, mercy, grace, and prayer. I am convinced that many marriages would be better today if couples take time to read the Bible and apply its principles in their marriage. Nothing you are faced with in your life and marriage is beyond the power found in God’s Word.

"This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success." (Josh. 1:8)

Sometimes the struggle in marriage is ignorance of what God has said about whatever situation we are facing in our marriage.

3. The Holy Spirit is your guide
The third element focuses on the application of what is found in God’s Word. I cannot imagine a marriage or life without the presence and influence of the Holy Spirit.

"However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will tell you things to come." (John 16:13)

The Holy Spirit will reveal things to you about your marriage. With limited access of the future, the need to rely on the One who sees the future cannot be overemphasized. Particularly, when you are making decisions that have to do with your future.

Always remember that marriage is a journey, the Bible is the blueprint, and the Holy Spirit is your guide.