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IV. PERFORMANCE
Conducting the funeral service is obviously one of the minister's most important functions in ministering to the family and friends of the deceased. The funeral service not only helps the family accept the reality and finality of the death of their loved one, but also provides the opportunity to minister to people's spiritual needs by presenting the assurance of eternal life in Jesus Christ.

A. Prior to the funeral

  1. Conservative dress is appropriate. A black or dark suit is traditional for the minister.

  2. Arrive early. Prior to the service, check with all participants (ushers, musicians, vocalists, the sound person, the funeral-home representative, etc.) and make sure that everything is coordinated properly.

  3. It is good to distribute to all participants a copy of the order of service, which you will have prepared beforehand.

  4. It is also good to greet the family in the area or room where they have gathered prior to the service.

  5. Finally, find a few minutes to be alone to review your notes, clear your mind, and pray.

B. The service itself (Remember, this is just a sample. Many variations and differing formats exist and are equally proper.)

  1. Preliminary background music is played while people enter and take their seats.

  2. A few minutes before the service starts, the pallbearers enter and take their seats in the section reserved for them.

  3. When it is time for the service to begin, the minister takes his place on the platform.

  4. As the funeral-home representative or usher escorts the family in, the minister signals the congregation to stand until the family is seated, after which the congregation is again seated.

  5. Vocalist sings an opening song.

  6. Minister says opening prayer, perhaps gives a scripture reading, and makes welcoming comments.

  7. Minister reads the obituary.

    • The funeral home usually provides the minister with a "Clergy Record" regarding the deceased. This gives information on his/her date and place of birth, date and place of marriage, date and place of death, a listing of all survivors, etc.

    • It is important for the minister to have previously ascertained correct pronunciation of all names.

  8. Eulogy is given.

    • The eulogy or the personal remarks is a time when the deceased is remembered and his/her life is reflected upon. The eulogy is sometimes integrated into the message itself.

    • Highlighted during the eulogy should be endearing traits that represent the family's best memories of the deceased. It is also appropriate to mention any special accomplishments, to speak of the faith of the deceased, and to mention any service he/she rendered unto the Lord.

    • It is important not to deify the deceased or to be unrealistically positive about the person, as this damages the credibility of the service in the eyes of those who knew the person well. It is also best not to say, "I never knew the person, but I was told ..."


  9. Vocalist sings song.

  10. Minister gives the message and a concluding prayer.

    • The message is not to be lengthy; 15-20 minutes is appropriate.

    • The message should identify and validate the natural feelings of loss and sorrow. But most importantly, it should stress and emphasize the greater reality of eternal hope and eternal life that is offered to all who place their trust in Jesus.


  11. Vocalist sings closing song.

  12. If the casket is to be opened for a final viewing, the funeral-home representative will open the casket while the minister takes his place at the head of the casket.

    • Those attending will be dismissed row by row to walk single file past the casket and then go to the lobby or perhaps to their vehicles to line up for the automobile procession to the grave site.

    • It is good to have comforting background music played during the final viewing.

    • The family will then have an opportunity for a final viewing of the body, during which time the minister can move among them, offering encouragement and support.

    • Though the minister should not rush the family, when the time is appropriate, he can offer to have a private prayer with just the family. During the prayer, the casket is closed.


  13. After the casket is closed for the final time, the minister walks in front of the casket as it is transported to the funeral coach (hearse). He then steps aside as the pallbearers place the casket in the vehicle.

C. The graveside ceremony or committal service

  1. The minister then joins the procession in driving to the cemetery.

    • If the funeral-home representatives do not have a specific car for the minister to ride in, they will usually direct him to put his car fairly close to the funeral coach prior to the service.

    • Upon arrival at the cemetery, the minister will again walk in front of the casket to the grave site and take his place next to the casket.


  2. There is usually a brief interval of waiting time as people arrive in their cars and make their way to the grave site. Once all have arrived, it is often necessary for the minister to ask the people to gather around closely.

  3. During the committal service, the minister usually makes some very brief comments, reads a few scriptures, and offers a committal prayer. The purpose of this service is to commit the person's body to the earth from which it was created and to commit the person's spirit to God who gave it.

  4. Following his committal prayer, the minister then proceeds to offer a handshake or hug and a word of condolence to each family member. Others may also join in greeting the family.

  5. The funeral-home representative will usually announce that the service is concluded and that people may return to their cars.

D. Immediately after the graveside service

  1. Often the family will then gather for a meal. In some places, the meal is prepared by church members and is served at the church. In other places, food is brought to the home by church members.

  2. It is usually appropriate (and in many cases expected) for the minister to join the family during this time.

E. As was mentioned earlier, there are many variations and alternatives to the type of format just mentioned. A couple of examples include:

  1. A graveside service only

    • This occurs when the family does not want any service at either the church or the funeral-home chapel.

    • A graveside service is similar to a regular service except that there is usually no music and the message is typically shorter.


  2. Another format may involve a private burial with only the family present, followed by a memorial service and meal at the church for family and friends.

V. POST-FUNERAL FOLLOW-UP
After a few days, the meals have stopped coming, the flowers have withered, and the calls and cards expressing support have stopped coming. This is when many families face the greatest emotional struggles following a loved one's death.

While the initial flood of support is helpful, it is also important to offer long-term support as well.

A. It is helpful to call the family a few days later and then again a few weeks after the funeral to find out if the family has any needs or if they desire to discuss matters.

B. At RHEMA Bible Church, families are given a copy of Good Grief by Granger Westberg. Families also have the opportunity to listen to a set of tapes from a grief-recovery class, which is taught periodically at the church.

C. It can be beneficial to select people from the church to offer ongoing support to the family.

  • For example, a widow of a few years can be assigned to periodically visit with and provide supportive friendship to someone who has been recently widowed.

  • This supportive person can also help facilitate reintegration into social activities and other avenues of fellowship.

D. It is also good to check on the family who has lost a loved one prior to holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and so forth, because special days are often especially challenging times.

Favorite Scriptures Suggested Hymns and Songs

Psalm 23: "Great Is Thy Faithfulness"

Psalm 46: "The Solid Rock"

Psalm 91: "What a Friend We Have in Jesus"

Psalm 116:15: "Amazing Grace"

John 11:1-26: "How Great Thou Art"

John 14:1-6: "Victory in Jesus"

1 Corinthians 15:12-28, 35-58: "Because He Lives"

2 Corinthians 5:1-10: "I'll See You in the Rapture"

Philippians 1:20-23: "But Until Then"

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18: "Soon and Very Soon"

2 Timothy 4:6-8: "There's a Whole Lot of People Going Home", "Blessed Assurance", "We Shall Behold Him"

Source: The Pastoral Ministry by Kenneth Hagin, Jr.
Excerpt permission granted by Faith Library Publications

Author Biography

Kenneth W. Hagin
Web site: Kenneth Hagin Ministries
 
Kenneth W. Hagin, President of Kenneth Hagin Ministries and pastor of RHEMA Bible Church, ministers around the world. Known for calling the Body of Christ to steadfast faith, he seizes every ministry opportunity to impart an attitude of “I cannot be defeated, and I will not quit.”
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