Of course, I'd had a lifetime of "you're not worthy" stuck in my head and that's probably the main reason why. But there were a few other reasons too. One of them is what I can now call "the fear of men" (Isa. 51:7; Ps. 31:19).
The first time God really blessed me with abundance, I took about five steps back and said, "Whoa, God. I'm not worthy. Really, Lord. I'm really not worthy. You can't give me this. I just can't take it."
But He just said, "Enjoy yourself." I said, "Oh...but I can't. People are going to talk, Lord. Are you sure about this?"
"Well, I wouldn't give it to you if I weren't sure. Go ahead, enjoy it," He replied.
Everyone But Me…
I'd always loved blessing others. But when it came down to me I'd think, "Oh, I can't take this. I'm a minister of the Gospel and people worry about how much material stuff we have. I can't have anything like that. I'm a preacher."
And do you know what? It took me a while before I could receive with a good heart. Chipping away at that old religious mind-set could have been much harder had God not given me a good reprimand, though. And you know, it took that reprimand from God to convince me that I really was worthy of receiving financial blessing.
He made me see that I should be blessed not just because of anything I'd done, but because of what Jesus had done! He made me worthy through His blood. And preacher or no preacher, I'm now entitled to everything that blood bought!
If you're not a minister, you might not understand what a liberation that is. Let me explain. You see, if you're a preacher, people are always eyeing what you've got. They want to know how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, where you got your shoes and what's in your fridge!
Unless you're dirt poor and struggling with an illness, it seems like everybody thinks you're a slimeball! And that can wear on you. It's like being convicted daily when you haven't done anything wrong.
People always cock their head back, sneer and say, "How much did you pay for that, Reverend?" insinuating that I must be a crook if I've got something nice. Many times I'd find myself trying to convince them that I'm "one of the good ones."
When they sarcastically say, "Oh, isn't that nice?" I knew they really meant "You must have spent a bundle, Reverend. I wonder where you got that kind of dough?" Then I'd find myself stuttering, "Uh, uh, well thanks. I got it on sale—50 percent off!"
What I really wanted to say was, "Oh, that old thing? My wife got that at the junkyard down the street from our run-down shack. But she's handy. She slapped a coat of discontinued paint on it, tightened a few rusty screws with a 10-year-old butter knife and well, there it is! Nice, huh?"
No More Excuses
But one day the Lord reprimanded me for talking and thinking like that. It was just after someone had questioned me about something materialistic and I was feeling kind of guilty for having something so nice.
In the middle of my pity party the Lord said, "Jesse, what are you doing? Just tell them I gave it to you. If they have any problems tell them to come talk to Me about it! Don't you ever make an excuse for My blessings in your life!"
And it has been my motto on prosperity ever since: never make an excuse for the blessings of God in your life. It's exactly what the Lord told me to do and I don't feel bad about obeying Him.
I'm not a greedy man and I'm no crook. Nobody can make me feel guilty for God's blessings. I'm a giver, so I'm bound to be a receiver! I love to bless others and I love to be blessed! And there ain't a devil in hell who's going to make me feel guilty for going out in the field and gathering up my harvest!
I love what a good friend of mine says when somebody asks him, "How much money do you make?" He is a minister just like me and he always says, "I don't make money. I live by my giving. What I sow is what I reap. Don't get mad at me if I'm blessed. I can't help it, I just keep on sowing and I just keep on reaping. My heavenly Father meets all my needs according to His riches in glory."
That is so true and I love it so much that I've adopted my friend's reply as my own. I live by my giving! I sow and I reap! I can't out-give God because He's too much! Of course I'm blessed! How could I not be? Just look at Who my Dad is.
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