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By the Time children understand how their lives were influenced by their dad, they usually have kids of their own...and the difficult yet wonderful cycle of fatherhood begins again.

June 2011

Each year as we approach Father's Day, I am reminded of my dad and his ongoing influence in my life. Fathers have a way of guiding and shaping the lives of their children—whether it's welcomed or not :)  In my case, the influence turned out to be quite positive…but it didn't start out that way.

Growing Up
My father was one of those strong, silent, and hard-working types. It's not that he never said anything; in fact, he talked all the time! But the majority of our conversations centered on the family business…and not much else. He was silent on personal matters. Of course, he constantly got on my case about going to church or practicing my accordion (please don't tell anyone that I play…um, that instrument!).

But when it came to discuss important things in life—or to tell me that he loved me—well, that's just something my dad never did or said. This is not a criticism of my dad at all. It's just an observation of how things were "back then."

Nevertheless, my siblings and I knew that we were loved; I just wish my dad would have said it from time to time. Trust me; boys need to hear those three words—from both parents—just as much as girls do.

Work, Work, Work
Even though my father and I never had many heart-to-heart talks, we spent a lot of time together…primarily because of the family business. We were always working. Days, nights, weekends…you name it. It was the nature of our family's trucking and excavating business.

I know my father took a lot of pride in the business he and my grandfather built over the years. The fact that my brother and I grew up working in the family business also gave him a deep sense of satisfaction. Perhaps that was his unique way of loving us. Maybe that was his way of being the best dad he could be.

As you can imagine, I was more interested in going on my next date or hanging out with my buddies than working with my dad. I can't tell you how many times that man botched up my social plans because he was such a workaholic and didn't know when to stop. But ironically, even though I constantly dreaded my father making me work so much, it was during those years that he shaped and influenced my life the most.

His tendency to never stop was both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness.

Valuable Traits
While growing up, I tended to focus on the negative aspects of my father's drive and endless ambition. But as I grew older and stepped out into the world on my own, I came to realize how valuable and important it was to possess those traits...and that's when I became extremely grateful that he had imparted them to me.

For example, thanks to my father...

• I am an optimist and not a pessimist
• I realize the value of hard work
• I understand the meaning of commitment
• I understand the importance of family, friends, and having fun
• I know that if you do a good job, customers will call you back
• My faith and commitment to God are solid
• I don't expect something for nothing
• I know the grass is not always greener on the other side
• I can drive and fix most anything
• I change my own motor oil
• I (still) play the accordion...