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One evening the statement was made that Satan was the god of this world who came to rob, steal, and kill, and that God was not the author of these things. I thought out loud, "You mean God didn't take my daddy?"
Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations.
(Deut. 7:9)
One day as I was sharing with a friend how I stood on God's Word for healing, I said, "I just trust the Lord because I love Him. When you truly love God, you will have faith in His Word." I thought nothing more about the statement until the next morning.

I was listening to a tape on the subject of healing, where the following Scripture was quoted: "Faith worketh by love" (Gal. 5:6). My spirit leapt inside of me when I realized that my faith works because I love God!

How simple, how miraculous.

However, I have not always loved God. Let me tell you why. My father was accidentally killed when I was a young girl, and my pastor told me that God had taken my daddy because He needed him in heaven. I thought to myself, "What about my mother? What about my sisters and me? Surely we need our daddy more."

At that point, resentment, bitterness, and anger toward God entered my heart. I felt as if God were someone in whom I could neither rely nor trust. After all, my daddy was a godly man. He was a Sunday School superintendent. He always took us to church. He was everything a wife or child could ask for. We had a happy home and I loved him dearly.

How Could God Do That?
When he died happiness drained out of our lives like water out of a tub. Instead of laughter, sorrow filled our hearts. How could you love a God who could cause this kind of heartache?

It is strange, but I continued going to church, sang in the choir, and did everything a Christian is supposed to do. But I did not love God. I served Him out of fear. I never knew when He might decide to take me, and I feared going to hell.

I had a friend who would say to me, "Oh Jeanne, God is love." I would say, "No, He is a God of wrath." I honestly felt that way about Him.

I loved Jesus because He was sweet and kind and went about doing good. However, I never felt this way about God. I had heard a preacher say one time that churches are filled with people who do not love God. They fear Him or follow religious traditions that include Him, but what they secretly think is that He has taken their child, husband or wife, mother or father, or something they treasure.

They resent Him just as I did. It is a sad truth.

It wasn't until my husband Happy became a Christian in 1972, when we started attending a home Bible study, that I learned all about the trust and love of God. We were studying E. W. Kenyon's Basic Bible Course which was called "The Bible in Light of Our Redemption."

It All Became Clear
One evening the statement was made that Satan was the god of this world who came to rob, steal, and kill, and that God was not the author of these things.

I thought out loud, "You mean God didn't take my daddy?"

The Bible study leaders asked me when and how he died. I told them he was electrocuted when he was 36 years old while putting up a television antenna. They said, "Oh no, God did not do that. It is God's will that we live long on this earth, and not only that, He wants us to be prosperous and healthy."

They continued to tell me how Satan had become the god of this world through the fall of Adam, and that he goes about the earth seeking whom he may devour. Man has a choice to serve God or reject Him, but God will always love man. God is a good God. There is no darkness in Him whatsoever. He is light.

After hearing this good news, it felt right. That sounded like what God ought to be like! I had an all-consuming desire to know God. I figured I could learn about Him in the Old Testament, so I began to read it.

I totally fell in love with God while reading the Old Testament! I saw Him as a God who loved His people so much and did everything He could to protect and guide them. I saw Him as He really was, not as I had been wrongly taught.

Forgive Me, God…I Love You
After reading and meditating, I put down my Bible, looked up toward heaven, and with tears streaming down my face said, "Oh God, please forgive me for all the bad things I've said about You through the years. Forgive me for not knowing You. Forgive me for not loving You. I'm so sorry, God. I want You to know I love You."

As soon as I finished speaking, He spoke back to me with such love and compassion. He said, "I love you, Jeanne."

His love flowed through me like rivers of living water. Three times I told Him I love Him, and three times He answered that He loved me too.

I have not been the same since!

No man, no devil, absolutely nothing can steal the love that I have for my Father God.

Friend, if you have ought in your heart today toward God for something you think He did to you, release it now and ask Him to forgive you. Get that bitterness and resentment out of your heart. It will only hurt you. You just don't know the peace and joy you can live in when your heart is right with God, your Father.

My prayer is that you let His love flow through you today.

Source: Learning to Trust God's Faithfulness
by Jeanne Caldwell
Excerpt permission granted by Harrison House Publishers

Author Biography

Jeanne Caldwell
Web site: Agape Church
Pastor Emeritus, founders and pastors of Agape Church from its founding in 1979 to 2014. Happy and Jeanne Caldwell. In 1979 God spoke to Happy & Jeanne Caldwell to build a spiritual production center in Little Rock, in order to take the good news of Jesus Christ to the city, state, nation and world. Together, they founded Agape Church, a strong spirit-filled body of believers. Through a deep sensitivity to the Spirit of God, and anointed teaching - the lost are saved, the sick healed, and thousands have been blessed. In 1988 Happy and Jeanne answered a direct call from the Lord to take His message beyond Central Arkansas. They founded VTN - the Victory Television Network. This network of 3 full power TV stations is carried on over 200 cable systems and is bringing the Gospel into more than 1.2 million households. Jeanne's ministry transcends nationality, race, culture, and generation as her passion to see women transformed into ladies who are pruned, polished, and perfected by the Word of God and her down-to-earth presentation assist others to have a personal encounter with God's Word.

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